CLUMSY #12 is the story of what happens when you're holding onto a big ugly secret to protect somebody who fucked you over, how it feels like you're boiling alive, and the house-shaking explosion when you finally let it into the world.
CONTENT WARNING: This is a zine about abuse.
This is a zine about The Chris Clavin Thing, aka, Chris Clavin (of Plan-It-X Records, Ghost Mice, and countless other projects) Is A Serial Abuser Who Preys On Young AFAB People & Used/Uses His Clout In The DIY Scene To Fuck People Up.
It's about being the one who blew the lid off the whole operation & feeling alone in the world while all the inherent ugliness of people trying to protect their mental image of somebody popular comes out & turns on you, and meanwhile being expected to be a perfect victim, have a plan, be the one for people to look to. It's about trying to get out from under the weight of the world and just bringing more hell down upon yourself.
It's about being embarrassed that you were part of a bad person's circle, and ashamed that you "let it happen" to you, and ashamed & having to deal with the realization that you (or your friend, or your sibling, or anybody close to you that may be experiencing the same thing) weren't special at all to this fucking jackass you gave your world to. You were just another resource to suck dry, and how sick that makes you feel.
To Kara, to everybody else that this kind of bullshit has happened to: none of it is your fault. There is power in speaking out. Thank you.
In this issue, Kara also writes beautifully about uncertainty, every possible emotion, gentrification & the ugliness & beauty of the world, three gorgeous love letters & a goodbye to persons not specified.
Includes an October 2018 postscript, cuz we all know as soon as you finish the zine you find stuff you need to fix about it.
This zine is 32 pages + spare, quarter size (4.25 x 5.5), typed, fully collaged, photocopied, and assembled with love & fury.
Julia Eff - http://crapandemic.storenvy.com/